Intruded

It feels like forever since I last smiled or laughed freely. These days I smile and laugh to hide the fact that I’m never happy. I get something good in life and before I can even taste the full of it, it goes away. Nothing in life actually makes me feel good anymore. Why does it always work this way for me? Or it’s actually happening to everyone but they’re are as good as I am at covering it up?

I used to be able to hide the emotions and cover it up nicely. Everyone would think I’m the happiest man alive but these days it’s just not as easy anymore. I guess I’m just losing it and soon I’ll lose my mind and then I’ll just forget who I am or even who I was. Nothing’s been working out and honestly, I don’t give a shit anymore.

I guess there’s simply no point of being nice to people. I used to be nice and what did I ever get in return? I made their day, I made their smile and when I need all that, no one seems to be around. Their life is more important than I am. Perhaps, it’s just the way it is. Perhaps it was wrong for me to ignore my life once to make others feel better. You know, no one’s worth it anymore. I do feel that way these days. You don’t like it? I don’t give a damn anymore!